... There is a newborn in the house?
* Mum, I don't like that sound very much.
* You can single handedly: turn on the kettle, make a bowl of cornflakes and navigate the morning while breast feeding
* It still hurts to sit.
* It takes speed, endurance and sharp wit.. to put a singlet on a near 5kg wriggling screaming mess.
* You eat like a teenage boy.
* Leaving the house before 2pm requires more organisation than I posses.
* You considered spaghetti on toast for tea, adults included.
* The same ad drives you bonkers on telly. Trivargo, I am looking at you.
* You start finding creative ways to stay awake at 2am feeds. Candy crush, you hurt my feelings.
* You can grocery shop like a Ninja.
* Wondersuits were made purely to make grumpy babies look immensely cuter.
* That slow motion nooooooooooo as your 5 year old announces she is going to play with her sleeping little sister.
* You swaddle, like your morning coffee depends on it.
* You have never had so many conversations about poo in your life.
* You're more disappointed that you have to take your warm dressing gown off.. than the fact that there is poo on it.
* Your local Mcdonalds is in fact, open 24 hours and your husband can indeed get a few hours shut-eye with grizzly-chops in a tiny corolla. He won the bonus points that day.
* You handover the rights to your boobs to a 2 week old.
* Nap time = DO ALL THE THINGS!
* You sleep on your tummy and almost weep with joy.
* Metamucil, because no new mum needs to strain.
* Wiping crumbs off your child's head. Sorry, it's mums lunchtime too.
* Online shopping suddenly just got a whole lot more desirable.
* You car is 98% child paraphernalia. And biscuit crumbs.
* Holding conversations about Minecraft, kinder surprises and why trees are called trees.. on no sleep.
* The love, you just didn't even know you possessed. From tiny little eyelashes to roly-poly little arms. You embrace it fully, knowing now that these moments are all too fleeting. They grow so fast. Your love for your 5 year old, explodes. They suddenly are so grown up. You embrace them longer, harder and let them be little.. a while longer.
5.1.15
2.1.15
A star is born.
Tap. Tap. Left, right, left, right. One more tree. You're nearly there. Tap. Tap.
Tapping rhythmically on the wet bathroom floor, my heels and toes kept in time with a vision looping in my thoughts. I was running. Memories of a old favourite running track. The last kilometre was framed by trees. The white path lead to the finish line. Each tree served as a motivation.
Run, run as fast as you can. One more tree, just to the corner.
My feet splashed onto the floor, the tapping sending the water from the shower up onto my calves.
The contraction ended. Two finish lines met.
A drip in my arm, and monitors strapped to my belly.
It was someones birth day.
I ran from the thought of another induction, for 5 long years. I promised myself, that this time... well it would be different. 39 weeks passed. Hopes of spontaneous labour, evaporated. Sparkles was already measuring 2 weeks ahead, and the thought of another traumatic experience birthing an over cooked baby.. made my blood run cold.
::
23/12/14
9am.
I was oddly calm. I was ready. I had prepared myself mentally. If I could cope with the worst, I could cope with anything. I walked to the birthing suite. The crib waiting neatly at the door, brought it all home. Today, she was coming. Today.
I was still, scared.
I met my midwife, Chris. We got off to a shaky start, as once again my 14 hour previous labour was dismissed as normal. It wasn't until my Chris arrived, that we talked some more and found a really good bond. I will never, ever forget her. I truly feel, she in some sort of way was sent to protect me.
My waters were broken. Ten shades of pain trying to get the drip in. I talked though my birth plan with Chris. Calm. I just wanted calm. No hysteria, no meddling, no losing control. Drug free, but I wanted to know my options if I tired. I asked her advice. She set me up with the fitball, who would become my BFF over the next few hours. She opened a window, that I spent many a contraction leaning out of.
I bounced on the fitball. The conversation flowed. Chris had been a midwife in many parts of the world. We had a few laughs. The pain started to build. I moved around the room. The pain took over. Nothing was imaginable other than, one more contraction closer to meeting her. I had two puffs of gas. Hated it. The pain. The pain is something else. I had to try and not work against it.
I am sure lots happened here. I remembered many moments of self doubt. Many. I had my Chris, as my ultimate rock. Guiding me. Reminding me, that I can do this. Contractions built. They adjusted the drip to a more manageable level. The midwife Chris, supported me. It was too late now, she was coming.
I asked for an internal. I had decided that if I wasn't dilated enough, then I would be calling the pain relief army.
8-9cm.
Fuckity Fuck.
It took over. The absolute desire to push. I heard them organise for my ob to come back. It was like I was in the eye of the storm. I knew a whirlwind was happening around me. But I was so focused.
They could see her head. Did I want to look? No. She had hair? Black hair?
I was getting incredibly tired now. As much as she inched out, she would inch back in. My bed was surrounded by people now. My legs in stirrups. I counted 4 midwives, Chris and my ob. They looked serious. They needed her out. Now. Her heart rate was starting to show signs of stress. I was effing tired. I didn't even know my legs bent that way. My ob, for the little lady she is.. was getting me focused and the urgency of getting her out. She started to get organised for using a vacuum.
Get that away from me. That hurt like hell. I was determined. You all can bugger off with you stabby needles and vacuums... I have this.
I pushed. Then even when you think you have nothing, you keep pushing. The ring of fire, is fitting. Oh dear gawd, That pain never leaves you. Her shoulder got stuck, causing a little tear. She swooped up onto my chest. Her skin was covered in white. Her hair. Her eyes. No cries. No movement. The midwives were rubbing her. Out of my sight, the resuscitation machine was wheeled in. Is she ok? Is she ok?? They kept rubbing her.
The cry that she released, reassured me.
At 3:49pm a star was born.
Sophie Louise.
Louise is after my sister, as it's her middle name too.
I cannot believe, I did it. I had the unwavering support of my husband. A fantastic support of a medical team.
She is here. It's love. It's a little sister. It's a beautiful daughter.
A star was born xxx
Tapping rhythmically on the wet bathroom floor, my heels and toes kept in time with a vision looping in my thoughts. I was running. Memories of a old favourite running track. The last kilometre was framed by trees. The white path lead to the finish line. Each tree served as a motivation.
Run, run as fast as you can. One more tree, just to the corner.
My feet splashed onto the floor, the tapping sending the water from the shower up onto my calves.
The contraction ended. Two finish lines met.
A drip in my arm, and monitors strapped to my belly.
It was someones birth day.
I ran from the thought of another induction, for 5 long years. I promised myself, that this time... well it would be different. 39 weeks passed. Hopes of spontaneous labour, evaporated. Sparkles was already measuring 2 weeks ahead, and the thought of another traumatic experience birthing an over cooked baby.. made my blood run cold.
::
23/12/14
9am.
I was oddly calm. I was ready. I had prepared myself mentally. If I could cope with the worst, I could cope with anything. I walked to the birthing suite. The crib waiting neatly at the door, brought it all home. Today, she was coming. Today.
I was still, scared.
I met my midwife, Chris. We got off to a shaky start, as once again my 14 hour previous labour was dismissed as normal. It wasn't until my Chris arrived, that we talked some more and found a really good bond. I will never, ever forget her. I truly feel, she in some sort of way was sent to protect me.
My waters were broken. Ten shades of pain trying to get the drip in. I talked though my birth plan with Chris. Calm. I just wanted calm. No hysteria, no meddling, no losing control. Drug free, but I wanted to know my options if I tired. I asked her advice. She set me up with the fitball, who would become my BFF over the next few hours. She opened a window, that I spent many a contraction leaning out of.
I bounced on the fitball. The conversation flowed. Chris had been a midwife in many parts of the world. We had a few laughs. The pain started to build. I moved around the room. The pain took over. Nothing was imaginable other than, one more contraction closer to meeting her. I had two puffs of gas. Hated it. The pain. The pain is something else. I had to try and not work against it.
I am sure lots happened here. I remembered many moments of self doubt. Many. I had my Chris, as my ultimate rock. Guiding me. Reminding me, that I can do this. Contractions built. They adjusted the drip to a more manageable level. The midwife Chris, supported me. It was too late now, she was coming.
I asked for an internal. I had decided that if I wasn't dilated enough, then I would be calling the pain relief army.
8-9cm.
Fuckity Fuck.
It took over. The absolute desire to push. I heard them organise for my ob to come back. It was like I was in the eye of the storm. I knew a whirlwind was happening around me. But I was so focused.
They could see her head. Did I want to look? No. She had hair? Black hair?
I was getting incredibly tired now. As much as she inched out, she would inch back in. My bed was surrounded by people now. My legs in stirrups. I counted 4 midwives, Chris and my ob. They looked serious. They needed her out. Now. Her heart rate was starting to show signs of stress. I was effing tired. I didn't even know my legs bent that way. My ob, for the little lady she is.. was getting me focused and the urgency of getting her out. She started to get organised for using a vacuum.
Get that away from me. That hurt like hell. I was determined. You all can bugger off with you stabby needles and vacuums... I have this.
I pushed. Then even when you think you have nothing, you keep pushing. The ring of fire, is fitting. Oh dear gawd, That pain never leaves you. Her shoulder got stuck, causing a little tear. She swooped up onto my chest. Her skin was covered in white. Her hair. Her eyes. No cries. No movement. The midwives were rubbing her. Out of my sight, the resuscitation machine was wheeled in. Is she ok? Is she ok?? They kept rubbing her.
The cry that she released, reassured me.
At 3:49pm a star was born.
Sophie Louise.
Louise is after my sister, as it's her middle name too.
I cannot believe, I did it. I had the unwavering support of my husband. A fantastic support of a medical team.
She is here. It's love. It's a little sister. It's a beautiful daughter.
A star was born xxx
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